[1/2004 release Mirror Mirror by Brandy Carter]
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Why ask Why Jokes
Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? Why do "tug" boats push their barges? Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there? Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting? Why is it call "after dark" when it really is "after light"? Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites? Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things? If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it? If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase? Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "A cheerful heart is good medicine..."_--(Prov 17:22a) More one liners http://www.geocities.com/Athens/8797/JOKES/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SAYINGS:
All generalizations are false, including this one.
All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power.
Always be sincere, even when you don't mean it. - Irene Peter
Always remember no matter where you go, there you are.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Angels can fly because they take themselves so lightly.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, & complain. And most do.
Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening. - PardoAnything that is designed to do more than one thing can't do any of them well.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
As soon as the stewardess serves the coffee, the airline encounters turbulence.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. - Mae West
Bigamy : one husband too many. Monogamy : same thing.
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
Bugs are Sons of Glitches!
Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Choose heaven for climate, hell for society.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18. - Albert EinsteinConfusion not only reigns, it pours.
Constant change is here to stay.
Dain bramaged.
Demons are a Ghouls best Friend.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.Do steam rollers really roll steam?
Do witches run spell checkers?
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
Don't be so open-minded your brains will fall out.Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.
Don't Take Life Seriously, It Is Not Permanent.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system.
___ Dyslexics of the world, untie!
Efficiency takes time! Frugality: who can afford it?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
Every time I've built character, I've regretted it.Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.
Exceptions always outnumber rules.Exceptions prove the rule ... and wreck the budget.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. - OlivierFew women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Floggings will continue until morale improves.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!
Friends come and go, enemies accumulate.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Friendship is one soul in two bodies.
_____
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
Gravity doesn't exist. The Earth sucks.Grow your own dope... plant a man.
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!!
Gun control is being able to hit your target!
He who hesitates is probably right.
Partners:He had wanted Laurel Armand for years -- though professionally
she was his nemesis. But once the two rival reporters headed down to
steamy New Orleans to investigate a murder, Matt Bates was determined
to make his lovely adversary his willing partner in passion. The Art Of
Deception: Supposedly he had come to her father's estate looking for
respite. But was handsome Adam Haines the man he pretended to be? Or
was Kirby Fairchild in danger of falling hard for a stranger who was
even more practiced in the art of deception than she was? Night Moves:
The small town offered peace to the widowed Maggie Fitzgerald. But when
sexy Cliff Delaney unearthed a skeleton in her backyard, she found
herself playing detective with him -- and wondering what was possible
in the heat of the night . . . in the heat of passion. ALSO BY THIS
AUTHOR: [Temptation], [Engaging the Enemy], writing under pen name J. D. Robb---[Divided in Death],[Vengeance In Death--romance mystery series],[Naked In Death--murder mystery series.],[Betrayal in Death: romance mystery series],[Immortal in Death]
[ by Iris Johansen: The Ugly Duckling--terrific!],[The Killing Game--same author],[Janet Evanovich---murder with a lot of humor: based on a retired lingerie saleswoman turned Bounty Hunter/ great fun and hilarious and addictive! ],[One for the Money--Janet Evanovich, first book in the numerical series],[Three to Get Deadly],[Two For the Dough],and Ann Mary Tempesta: [Damsel In the Rough--bizarre, hilarious, adventuress, unique! If Xena had to deal with a New Yorker...],[by Amanda Quick/ Jayne Castle--Jayne Anne Krentz The Paid Companion],[Mystique],and by Sandra West Powell---murder mystery, female P.I, Native American, Montana--great stories: [By Evil Means]
[another Jokes page one] [Jokes page-2][Jokes page-3][Jokes page-4] [Jokes page-5] [Jokes page-6] [Collection of Chuckles]
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